Tuesday, December 1, 2009

SPECIAL EDITION - INspired Action Journal

Are You Practicing Preferring or Complaining?


The Holidays are here. We hope that you are enjoying all the “contrast and joy” (smile) that Holidays make available to us all. While I was digesting turkey and cranberry leftovers, I received a request from a long-time friend and client to do a soothing coaching call. The gist of the situation was this: Holidays bring up feelings of anxiety for this person. Then, they feel the sadness of lacking a mate. And although they are highly regarded in their work and life, my client says, “When the Holidays come, I feel like my mind and heart are whacked around in a blender. I want to finally take control of this.”

Naturally, the work is always to return to the self-empowerment of directing those thoughts, rather than allowing the old habits from childhood to take over. The golden nugget of this conversation turned out to be one worth sharing with everyone. We talked about the difference between making a preference and just plain complaining. Read on and sense if this rings any bells.

There is a very clear distinction between making a preference vs. choosing to complain.

A preference is made in a moment and feels like appreciation … then you move on to the new experience. A complaint goes on and on and feels irritating … then you stay stuck in that place.

If you are still unsure if you are now practicing a preference or complaint, ask yourself this: am I asking for someone or something to change so that I can feel better? That direct question will clear it all up.

And here is the path to relief: since the only thing that you have control over is you, always bring your inner dialogues back to you. Use a tool like lists of appreciation, or getting In the Vortex* to discover fresh perspectives. The power and clarity is in realizing that it is always “your stuff.” Leave everyone else out of it.

Of course, it is tempting to say, “But, everyone else is complaining about this person or that thing. Everyone else is doing it. So I figure that subject deserves my complaining, too. After all, there are many others complaining with me. And I don’t want to look foolish or inappropriate to my peers. And there is a kind of safety in numbers, right? I just feel more secure joining the biggest and loudest group. I feel more powerful when I am united with others in complaining about how wrong something is. It gives me a sense of meaning and purpose. And frankly, I just feel better complaining and getting this off my chest. So, why shouldn’t I say whatever I want to say, whenever I want to say it, to whoever I want to say it?”

And in that pointed conclusion, you are absolutely right. You are free to choose. However, if you keep complaining then you you’ll keep feeling irritated, or worse. Law of Attraction gives you more of what you focus upon.

So, so you want to be right or do you want to be happy? You choose.

Maybe this is just occurring to you for the first time.
Lucky you.
Now you are at choice.

Now what do you choose?

Preference and Appreciation means exploring possibility.
Complaint and Irritation means being stuck in a rut.

You get to choose.
They get to choose.
Everyone is free to choose.
Choose.
How to choose and stick with a new choice? Use the tools to get IN the Vortex.*

*Note: The phrase “In the Vortex” is copyright © Esther and Jerry Hicks from the book The Vortex.

Copyright © SusanJoy Grieco

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Relax… Everything’s Going Our Way!
SusanJoy Grieco

http://www.Bliss-Studios.com

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